From dphillip@mail.usyd.edu.au Tue Jun 10 15:48:16 1997 Date: Mon, 21 Apr 1997 10:05:16 +1000 (EST) Subject: don't try this at home kids.... (fwd) > This is a true story. > --------------------- > <yeh, right...> > > And you ask where the modern-day adventurers have gone . . . > > DARWIN AWARD WINNER FOR 1997 ANNOUNCED!!!!!!!! > > You'll recall a Darwin Award winner not long ago where a former > airforce sergeant decided to strap a cargo plane rocket booster to his > car to see how fast it would go and ended up killing himself (hence > the "Darwin" award...in the struggle for survival only the fittest > survive....) when his car didn't negotiate a curve in the road in > northern New Mexico where he had set up this experiment. The car > smashed into the side of a cliff several hundred feet above the > roadbed. > > Here's the 1997 winner: Larry Waters of Los Angeles. Larry is one of > the few to win the award and still be alive. > > Larry's boyhood dream was to fly. When he graduated from high school, > he joined the Air Force in hopes of becoming a pilot. Unfortunately, > poor eyesight disqualified him. When he was finally discharged, he > had to satisfy himself with watching jets fly over his backyard. > One day, Larry, brightened up. He decided to fly. He went to the > local Army-Navy surplus store and purchased 45 weather balloons and > several tanks of helium. The weather bolloons, when fully inflated, > measured more than four feet across. Back home, Larry securely > strapped the balloons to his sturdy lawn chair. He anchored the chair > to the bumper of his jeep and inflated the balloons with the helium. > He climbed on for a test while it was still only a few feet above the > ground. Satisfied that it would work, Larry packed several sandwiches > and a six- pack of miller lite, loaded his pellet gun - figuring he > could pop a few balloons when it was time to descend - and went back > to the floating lawn chair where he tied himself in along with his > pellet gun and provisions. Larry's plan was to lazily float up to a > height of about 30 feet above his back yard after severing the anchor > and in a few hours come back down. > > Things didn't quite work out for Larry. When he cut the cord > anchoring the lawn chair to his jeep, he didn't float lazily up to 30 > or so feet. Instead he streaked into the LA sky as if shot from a > cannon. He didn't level of at 30 feet, nor did he level off at 100 > feet. After climbing and climbing, he leveled off at 11,000 feet. At > that height he couldn't risk shooting any of the balloons, lest he > unbalance the load and really find himself in trouble. So he stayed, > there, drifting cold and frightened for more than 14 hours when he > found himself in the primary approach corridor of LAX. > A Pan Am pilot first spotted Larry. He radioed the tower and > described passing a guy in a lawn chair with a gun. Radar confirmed > the existence of an object floating 11,000 feet above the airport. > LAX emergency procedures swung into full alert and a helicopter was > dispatched to investigate. LAX is right on the ocean. Night was > falling and the offshore breeze began to flow. It carried Larry out > to sea. Right on Larry's heels was the helicopter. Several miles > out, the helicopter caught up with Larry. Once the crew determined > that Larry was not dangerous, they attempted to close in for a rescue > but the draft from the blades would push Larry away whenever they > neared. Finally, the helicopter ascended to a position several > hundred feet above Larry and lowered a rescue line. Larry snagged the > line, with which he was hauled back to shore, a difficult manuver, > flawlessly executed by the helicopter crew.. > As soon as Larry was hauled to earth, he was arrested by waiting > members of the LAPD for violating LAX airsapce. As he was led away in > handcuffs, a reporter dispatched to cover the daring rescue, asked him > whay he had done it. Larry stopped, turned and replied nonchalantly, > "A man can't just sit around." > Here's a salute to Larry Walters, the 1997 Darwin Award Winner. *dave _______________________________________________________________ www-personal.usyd.edu.au/~dphillip/ * david phillips www.cs.su.oz.au/~davep dphillip@mail.usyd.edu.au _______________________________________________________________